"Remove your shoes, sir..."

[lifewithoutanet]

Read a thread over at basejumper.com about packing-clamps and the TSA when flying. I fly A LOT and I've never had problems with a rig or with clamps. Even hook-knives have made it through without incident.

Used to think I had the best/funniest story with my carry-on rig being the reason for a delayed flight when i was forced to consolidate camera and laptop bags into stashbags and carry my rig on as it was... And being met by the Federal Air Marshal on my flight when we landed in DC. That is, until Abbie refused to remove his shoes for security screening just because he had a long layover between flights.

Abbie, you need to tell that story, here. It's a good one!

-C.

[Flying_Mike_D]

I've been on a few flights in my day. Never flown with my BASE rig or clamps yet though...although a few years ago flying out of Burbank I was screened a little extra because of my skydiving rig. TSA didn't care about my hook knife (I don't even think they saw it) but they sure gave me a hard time about my nail clippers.

I was traveling civilian style, those of you that know me will see the utter ridiculousness in what happened.

[mknutson]

TSA Bastards made me open my pin rig for Labor Day last year while flying. I just go unpacked now.

[Mac]

The most memoral was arriving 6 hours early at Naples airport, it was totally empty, so to kill time I picked the lock on the beer fridge, tried to empty it as much as possible, and after a 5 hour free beer binge, tried to take the rest of my booty through in my stash bag.......

I have always carried rig and other jumping gear (clamps, camera helmet etc) as hand luggage and would say 99% of the time its been cool.

[hookitt]

Originally Posted by lifewithoutanet

Abbie, you need to tell that story, here. It's a good one!

-C.

I bet that story is still in my email. I haven't tried it yet.

[hamsandwich]

Dig up the email Tim or Collin! I can't tell the story as well as when it was fresh in my mind. My memory stinks!

-

[lifewithoutanet]

Originally Posted by hamsandwich

Dig up the email Tim or Collin! I can't tell the story as well as when it was fresh in my mind. My memory stinks!

-

This is awesome. I'm actually starting a spam...

4th of July, Independence Day. EVERYONE, keep your damned shoes on at the airport security. Don't be afraid.

I just returned from Atlanta and decided to see what happens when you refuse. It's very much like having you shoes shined. You take a seat and have your shoes (or in the case of sandals, my feet!) swabbed and then then cotton pad put in a machine to test for chemicals. All in all it was an extra 5 minutes. The best part was the TSA telling me that I'm wasting THEY'RE time. Ha! Who's been wasting who's time??

Also, be sure they don't move you where you cannot see your belongings. Your belongings HAVE to be withing eyesight especially while they are looking through them.

Stop being afraid. Stop conforming. Stop eating the soylent green.


Dare I say this.... pass it on?

There's the Email, but it wasn't nearly as funny as hearing you tell the story and all the reactions of the various TSA burger-flippers.
-C.

[Flying_Mike_D]

I go through airport security more than anyone else on this board...trust me.

If you REALLY want to make the TSA work for their money do what I do. Every time I am pulled for extra screening I set off the hand wand due to some well placed body jewelry.

They are now required to pat you down with the back of their hands when doing this search.

1st) request a private area in the presence of a police officer. They HAVE to do this. If you are not comfortable having the extra screening in public view they will take you out of public site. I HIGHLY ADVISE YOU REQUEST A COP BE PRESENT! This keeps the TSA 'honest'.

2nd) I personally pretend to get all sexually aroused while the TSA pats down my well placed body jewelry. This generally makes the cop who is present pretty amused....they get the joke and it breaks up their monotonous day of being an airport police officer. Y'all can do what ever floats your boat at this point.... I'm just giving you some pointers and telling you what I do when I get pulled for extra screening.

P.S. I go through airport security about 4-5 times per week.

[lifewithoutanet]

Dude, you must be sketchy. I fly just as much, sometimes more. I never remove toiletries/liquids from my bag, I'm frequently "just in time" for flights and very often buy the tickets the day before, sometimes the day of. I never get extra screening.
-C.

[Flying_Mike_D]

I'm an airline captain. How's that for sketchy? My name is on the NO FLY list. It's not me, just some tool with the same exact name.

It doesn't matter what I do with liquids/gels/aerosols (I'm exempt from that rule). You only get two chances through a magnetometer or you get extra screening. Oddly enough it's not the body jewelry that gets me. It's the combination of body jewelry along with captains wings and name badge that set off the magnetometer. When I travel civilian style I rarely ever set off the damn thing, but in uniform I am pretty much guaranteed I am getting the "full meal deal" from the TSA.

Sorry to burst your bubble...but I doubt you fly more than me! LOL

[lifewithoutanet]

That sucks. But it's actually kind of funny, as well as ass-backwards. Just shows how fucking stupid the entire agency is. Honestly, what threat has actually ever been stopped/thwarted/detected by the TSA? It's a political agency made *important* for the illusion of safety. The government spends just enough for warm bodies, but if they were really serious, they'd implement real security. Ever traveled to Isreal?
-C.

[Flying_Mike_D]

Originally Posted by lifewithoutanet

That sucks. But it's actually kind of funny, as well as ass-backwards. Just shows how fucking stupid the entire agency is. Honestly, what threat has actually ever been stopped/thwarted/detected by the TSA? It's a political agency made *important* for the illusion of safety. The government spends just enough for warm bodies, but if they were really serious, they'd implement real security. Ever traveled to Isreal?
-C.

You nailed it! That's pretty much spot on. How's it feel to have national airspace security provided by high school dropouts, GED grads, and grandmothers who were tired of running a hair styling salon from the back of the house they live in?

I've never been to Israel but I have many friends that have including a buddy here in Boise that just got back. From what I hear (and read) they have REAL airport security. You wouldn't catch me fucking with the Israeli version of out TSA. They'd probably remove my body jewelry with some forceps and make me go through screening again while bleeding.

And yes, it's fucking comical and sad to be an airline pilot with a 10 year FBI background check and be more scrutinized and looked over than a foreigner with a beard and funny accent that doesn't speak English. Oh, and don't forget little old grandma in a wheelchair, she's dangerous too!

[base_bin]

is your name mike, also?

[Flying_Mike_D]

Originally Posted by base_bin

is your name mike, also?

You lost me....must be that British accent.