Re: Stupidity

[mknutson]

The following message was sent to you via the BASE Jumping - BLiNC Magazine BASEJumping Forums Contact Us form by Superdave ( mailto:ferrari_technicain@yahoo.com ).

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Well, I guess I don't rightly know how to write this letter but I am putting it on the forum at this time because this is my first time ever having to deal with something like this.

In my short career as a BASE jumper I have created a lot of controversy and turmoil within the community. I am not proud of this which is why I am writing this letter to all of you. It's been a real hard road but I have came to an intersection in my life where I have realized I have to make one change in particular that seems to be affecting everything.

Looking back at the over 60 BASE jumps I have made since starting in November I came to realize that only maybe 10 have been sober and on most I know I was wasted. BASE is dangerous enough without the added stupidity. But the realization came when I look at the shit I have done, both in the BASE community and the skydiving community as well as in my daily life. From being escorted off a plane at a DZ for smelling like alcohol, actually manifesting and doing a jump and later finding I was so intoxicated I couldn't walk after landing to BASE jumps where I had drank a half a bottle of Jack and 6 beers and I guess it's no wonder that someone overheard what we were talking about (I will tell you that I didn't want that to happen) and I don’t even remember getting to the roof because I guess I was blacked out.

Nevertheless, the reason I am writing is to let you know that I am entering an impatient treatment program Monday. This is my first time ever really looking into anything like this but I think it's time. Looking back at the last few years I realize I have destroyed so many things from my career to friendships and reputation that I cannot afford to continue to live like this...if for nothing else than I am going to kill someone else. I don’t know anything about AA or alcoholism but from what I have heard, it fits. In the past 5 years I have lost a job where I was virtually printing money, there are people who won’t get on a plane with me, there are people who won’t BASE with me and there are nights I shake and sweat if I don’t drink.

I guess I just felt that I owed an apology to this community as a whole and as I have always believed that apologies without action are bullshit I am taking this step.

Superdave

612-382-7789

[aWorldSoCold]

Dude!

I've battled alcholism for a large part of my life! And IT had/has ruined large parts of it (my life)! Fuchin' rite on! Stand up and fuchkin admit your wrong and stand up and do somthin about it!

I for one have always run/ran away from most of my problems and suffered deeply for it and for they I'm deeply ashamed and know I can't take any of IT back! And I now am more alone because of IT!

Good luck dave----and stay on re mutha fuchin' wagon cuz it only gets worse everytime fall off and try to get back on again after sumthing stupid happens again!

BASE#1106

[lifewithoutanet]

Hands down, this is an admirable step. Dave, I wish you nothing but the best in treatment and recovery.
-C.

[baseknut]

Kudos to you Dave. Thats true courage...

Best wishes,
Jake

[Cal.B229]

Fair Play Dave,
Wish you all the best

Andy

[speedphreak]

Way to stand up and take control. All the best to you.

[Luke_Se]

Good luck man, alkoholism is a bitch! Smoke weed instead

[Superdave]

Thanks for the support. I am eager to relearn how to do alot of things (BASE included) without needing the chemical courage. It means alot to hear other's stories and encouragement.