Things that Suck

[Johnny Utah]

1. Stepping in dog shit
2. Having cops ring my doorbell after a jump the night before
3. getting an eye lash in my eye and not being able to get it out
4. this thread

feel free to add to the list if you can think of anything.

[hamsandwich]

5. Vaccuum cleaners
6. Big Government
7. Lying
8. Mega-Maid from Spaceballs The Movie
9. That moment right after you screw up, where you know pain is imminent, and your actions going forward will now only dictate the level of hurt not whether you avoid it or not.

[stevenm]

#2 - How did that one turn out?
#3 - I hate it when that happens. Use plenty of water!

[lifewithoutanet]

10. Talking your--and 4 other jumpers'--way out of a rooftop 'bust' that should have just been jumped, anyway.
11. Going back a few nights later, solo, and opening it alone, wishing everyone else from the first night was there with you.
-C.

[stitch]

12. Not getting a guy to go to White Castle for you, even after you put on the Harold and Kumar DVD

[lifewithoutanet]

12. Not getting a guy to go to White Castle for you, even after you put on the Harold and Kumar DVD
13. Not being able to walk because--reportedly--you won't exercise or get off your crutches.
-C.

[stitch]

I go to the Y and ride a recumbent bike twice a day, 6 miles each session. That is probably more than most people do that can walk.

[lifewithoutanet]

Ah. I stand corrected. Good on ya!
-C.

[Johnny Utah]

#2 - How did that one turn out?


We jumped a crane at night and got away clean but our getaway car was a Cayenne Porsche and a security guard in a nearby building saw the landing and the car and wrote down a partial plate number.

We did the jump at around 4 AM and at 6:30 AM our driver called me and said we made the paper, I was like wtf you talking about. Well actually at that time we had made the top story on the Tribune's website (2 hours after the jump). This was after Jeb's ESB fiasco, so the media went nuts about our simple middle of the night crane jump. They were all talking about homeland security and saying how the cops were working double shifts to catch us.

I was sleeping on the couch when around 8 PM later that day, Marcia woke me up and said there were five cops outside the front door. Before I could even fully wake up, I knew I was busted. It was all a bit surreal after that. I opened the door and was greeted by 3 detectives in suits and ties and two uniform sheriffs. I played it cool of course but in my head I couldn't believe the media and cops were so worked up over a low-profile crane jump.

Turned out that the head detective was really cool and had skydived before and I acted cool to them as well. He was doing his detective thing but he never handcuffed me and on the way downtown the 3 detectives and me stopped and ate dinner at a fancy Chinese restaurant. I ordered a slice of cheesecake for desert and when it came my arresting officer mentioned that it looked tasty so I split it with him. It was a little "out there" as far as life experiences go.

So during this dinner they were able to tell me a lot about the situation. They didn't really want to be busting us but had to act because the media was flipping out about it.

We all cooperated and the detectives promised us a couple things in return and they kept their word. We had a lawyer go in and not try to fight the disorderly conduct charge (which we could have easily fought and won), but instead work out a continuance deal with the prosecutor. He did that and the detective approved it based on our cooperation. The case was continued for 6 months and then the charges were dismissed (We never had to make a plea of any kind on the case).

So it turned out good in the end but the bust sucked.
Except for the cheesecake, that was really good and the cops paid for my dinner.

[Johnny Utah]

1. Stepping in dog shit
2. Having cops ring my doorbell after a jump the night before
3. getting an eye lash in my eye and not being able to get it out
4. this thread
5. Vaccuum cleaners
6. Big Government
7. Lying
8. Mega-Maid from Spaceballs The Movie
9. That moment right after you screw up, where you know pain is imminent, and your actions going forward will now only dictate the level of hurt not whether you avoid it or not.
10. Talking your--and 4 other jumpers'--way out of a rooftop 'bust' that should have just been jumped, anyway.
11. Going back a few nights later, solo, and opening it alone, wishing everyone else from the first night was there with you.
12. Not getting a guy to go to White Castle for you, even after you put on the Harold and Kumar DVD
13. Not being able to walk



Surely you dudes have more things you could add to this list



like looking down during freefall and watching a cop pull up to the intersection below you.

or landing in ice cold water

or not being packed

or finding an object you regularly jump now has a locked door

or watching your ground crew almost get you busted

or having your PC come out while climbing a tower

or...

or..

[stevenm]

Ouch. Are #9 and #13 related? Let's hear the story...

[huckleberry]

how bout'.....
Bowlers that BASE jump?

[iamchriskolegasbitch]

Hitting at least 3 Deer @ 90mph in your new car.

[hamsandwich]

14. Hitting 3 Deer @ 90mph in your friend's new car with him sitting shotgun!



-

[stevenm]

15. Crossing two wires and in one spectacular puff of smoke destroying $2000 worth of stuff.
16. Finding a seemingly cool object but then seeing the big-ass federal complex it's located in.

[hamsandwich]

17. watching people that don't jump talk about objects


;)

[stevenm]

Now now, I was going to tell the locals about it... gotta start someplace

[Johnny Utah]

1. Stepping in dog shit
2. Having cops ring my doorbell after a jump the night before
3. getting an eye lash in my eye and not being able to get it out
4. this thread
5. Vaccuum cleaners
6. Big Government
7. Lying
8. Mega-Maid from Spaceballs The Movie
9. That moment right after you screw up, where you know pain is imminent, and your actions going forward will now only dictate the level of hurt not whether you avoid it or not.
10. Talking your--and 4 other jumpers'--way out of a rooftop 'bust' that should have just been jumped, anyway.
11. Going back a few nights later, solo, and opening it alone, wishing everyone else from the first night was there with you.
12. Not getting a guy to go to White Castle for you, even after you put on the Harold and Kumar DVD
13. Not being able to walk
14. Hitting 3 Deer @ 90mph in your friend's new car with him sitting shotgun!
15. Crossing two wires and in one spectacular puff of smoke destroying $2000 worth of stuff.
16. Finding a seemingly cool object but then seeing the big-ass federal complex it's located in.
17. watching people that don't jump talk about objects
18. Bowlers that BASE jump?
19. Looking down during freefall and watching a cop pull up to the intersection below you.
20. Landing in ice cold water
21. Not being packed
22. Finding an object you regularly jump now has a locked door
23. Watching your ground crew almost get you busted
24. Having your PC come out while climbing a tower

[hamsandwich]

1. Stepping in dog shit
2. Having cops ring my doorbell after a jump the night before
3. getting an eye lash in my eye and not being able to get it out
4. this thread
5. Vaccuum cleaners
6. Big Government
7. Lying
8. Mega-Maid from Spaceballs The Movie
9. That moment right after you screw up, where you know pain is imminent, and your actions going forward will now only dictate the level of hurt not whether you avoid it or not.
10. Talking your--and 4 other jumpers'--way out of a rooftop 'bust' that should have just been jumped, anyway.
11. Going back a few nights later, solo, and opening it alone, wishing everyone else from the first night was there with you.
12. Not getting a guy to go to White Castle for you, even after you put on the Harold and Kumar DVD
13. Not being able to walk
14. Hitting 3 Deer @ 90mph in your friend's new car with him sitting shotgun!
15. Crossing two wires and in one spectacular puff of smoke destroying $2000 worth of stuff.
16. Finding a seemingly cool object but then seeing the big-ass federal complex it's located in.
17. watching people that don't jump talk about objects
18. Bowlers that BASE jump?
19. Looking down during freefall and watching a cop pull up to the intersection below you.
20. Landing in ice cold water
21. Not being packed
22. Finding an object you regularly jump now has a locked door
23. Watching your ground crew almost get you busted
24. Having your PC come out while climbing a tower
25. Having your PC NOT come out after jumping that tower
26. the iPhone (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone)

[ZegeunerLeben]

>>17. Finally having to back to work after exhausting every possible reason not to.

[Chuck Lowenpull]

I got this new vacuum cleaner. It really sucks.

[hamsandwich]

Leaving Ridley in charge of tying the tether on the balloon.

[stitch]

18. Jamie's Man-Hands.

[DRT]

Getting the everlivingbejesus shocked out of you grounding an antenna you didn't think was hot.

[iamchriskolegasbitch]

Getting busted by security in the stairway of a hotel.

[avenfoto]

getting busted
being on probation
the "come-down"
when the crane is dissasembled
when the tower blows to the ground in a tornado
pilot chute hesitations
basejumper.com
skydivers talking base
skydivers pretending base
hundred dollar bar tabs
two hundred dollar bar tabs.. (mustve made a lot of new friends.. too bad you dont remember any of them..)
going to work
going to work stoned
youth-sports photography
bitchy customers
soccer moms
bitchy wife
screaming baby
missing drugs
missing drugs found by wife or baby
dead friends
incarceration
police
electromagnetic locks on the roof, operated at the front desk
being broke
paying bills
credit cards

just a few, off the top of my head

[vid666]

Driving 3 hrs one way to jump what is supposed to be a remote antenna - just to find an engineer onsite fucking with equipment. waiting 3 hours for the the said engineer to leave (spent in a semi-public place), just to have cops show up asking you all sorts of stupid questions to which ALL your responses are "just chilling, officer".

[Bazair2air]

Trying to decide whether to buy pot…or brownies.

[lifewithoutanet]

Trying to decide whether to buy pot…or brownies.

Shit, Baz... I don't even smoke and the solution to that "problem" damn near smacks me in the head! Duh!?!?
-C.

[Chuck Lowenpull]

Not being able to think of one to add because everything is really cool.


Ha ha ha OK OK seriously.

everything is awesome! Seriously.

[Bazair2air]

Have you seen the price of brownies lately? :eek:;):)

[flipper]

...Just after the exit a car parks in the landing area ...

...Being in freefall with the bridle round your neck ...

....Havin a visiting jumper totally disrespect the local rules

.... openings so hard the chest strap becomes a blindfold ...

....Climbing a perimeter fence and have one of the spikes stick in a bollock

[ride em in]

...the fact that your spouse wont let you BASE jump anymore, despite your argument that it is safer than skydiving, due to the closer proximity to the ground :(

[vid666]

Discovering 2 man size holes in both fences AFTER you have spent 15 mins climbing 2 double fences while getting bit by the barbwire

[Johnny Utah]

was it razor wire?

[badenhop]

your spouse wont let you BASE jump anymore

Are you a total pussy?

[ride em in]

Sorry, we all can't be cool like you! But I can pretend!:)

[base587]

Getting busted by a ranger, a county deputy sheriff and a state trooper all on the same jump :eek:

[Flying_Mike_D]

1. Stepping in dog shit
2. Having cops ring my doorbell after a jump the night before
3. getting an eye lash in my eye and not being able to get it out
4. this thread
5. Vaccuum cleaners
6. Big Government
7. Lying
8. Mega-Maid from Spaceballs The Movie
9. That moment right after you screw up, where you know pain is imminent, and your actions going forward will now only dictate the level of hurt not whether you avoid it or not.
10. Talking your--and 4 other jumpers'--way out of a rooftop 'bust' that should have just been jumped, anyway.
11. Going back a few nights later, solo, and opening it alone, wishing everyone else from the first night was there with you.
12. Not getting a guy to go to White Castle for you, even after you put on the Harold and Kumar DVD
13. Not being able to walk
14. Hitting 3 Deer @ 90mph in your friend's new car with him sitting shotgun!
15. Crossing two wires and in one spectacular puff of smoke destroying $2000 worth of stuff.
16. Finding a seemingly cool object but then seeing the big-ass federal complex it's located in.
17. watching people that don't jump talk about objects
18. Bowlers that BASE jump?
19. Looking down during freefall and watching a cop pull up to the intersection below you.
20. Landing in ice cold water
21. Not being packed
22. Finding an object you regularly jump now has a locked door
23. Watching your ground crew almost get you busted
24. Having your PC come out while climbing a tower
25. Having your PC NOT come out after jumping that tower
26. the iPhone ([url]http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?
27. Standing on the Perrine having Johnny psych you out on jump #7 & #8 and thinking to yourself "hmmmm, self, I sure wish I would have saved enough chicken scratch to take Johnny's BASE Camp because his students have A LOT more confidence than I do!"
28. Realizing that being a Hamsandwich Production without the Hamsandwich being present on said jumps #7 & #8 really may not have been the smartest decisions you have ever made.

[ZegeunerLeben]

>>The new american socialist state comrade! All hail the glorious leaders Paulson and Bernanke!

[base386]

wife not letting you base jump????? My wife hates me! She encourages me to do multiple jumps when I go out for the evening up to cincy crew playground. " It's not too windy!!!" " That lightning is way way off" " What could a guy wire possibly do to you?" actually made up the last one. Just have a personality change for the worse, and the wife will want " the guy I once knew before we got married" back! Trust me.
women do not want a boring man or pussy around the house.
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