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Base Romance

This page is a chapter in 'BASE Wiki Philosophy'

Base Romance

This is an original article belonging to the author. It has not been edited by BASE WIKI in any way.

By Tom Aiello

I originally wrote this in response to a posting on the “BASE Zone” forum. In the interests of not offending people, I removed it. On further reflection, I have decided that I feel strongly enough about this issue to risk giving offense. It may not be tactful, but I think this needs to be said. If I offend people with it, so be it. I would rather offend a hundred people, and save one life, than have 99 live friends, and one dead one.



There is a saying among BASE jumpers: “Girlfriends Die.” This is not a joke. Why?



Women have a disproportionately high rate of injury and death as student (sub-50 jumps) BASE jumpers. Although there are no definite statistics, I would estimate that while 10–15% of BASE students are women, something like 35% of student accidents happen to women. This is a terrible trend, and the key to changing it lies with the women who are prospective BASE jumpers.



Careful examination of motives (of both the instructor and student) is important for anyone getting into BASE. For a woman being taught by a man, it is absolutely essential.



Because of the issues surrounding women in a heavily male pastime, you need to be extra-careful in screening potential BASE mentors. Be certain that you want to BASE jump for you, not him, and that his foremost concern is your safety, not getting into your pants. From the beginning, you must be strong enough, and smart enough to back out of a potentially dangerous situation. Don't count on the guys at the DZ to be looking out for you-they may be too busy checking you out.
Things for a woman to look for in a BASE mentor:
  1. a qualified woman (since the number of these in the world can be counted on my fingers, you may have difficulty finding one)
  2. someone who has no romantic interest in you, and in whom you have no romantic interest
  3. someone who treats you exactly as they treat any other prospective student
Things to immediately disqualify a prospective mentor:
  1. any degree of sexual tension between you
  2. any romantic relationship between you
  3. a mentor who is not qualified to teach
  4. someone who helps or wants you to shortcut the normal learning progression
I can think of only one case in which a romantic relationship actually helped a woman advance her BASE skills and career, and that was a truly exceptional situation which involved a woman who had already begun jumping, was a very qualified skydiver (more than two thousand jumps), and had rock solid judgment, and a man who was an experienced BASE instructor, as well as one of the worlds most accomplished BASE jumpers. In every other instance that I know of, attempts to combine a romantic relationship with BASE mentoring or instruction have been unqualified failures, usually for the jumping, sometimes for the romance, and often for both.



Some men try to use the mystique of BASE jumping to attract women. There are few seduction tactics as tried and true as "being the teacher" (just ask a Tandem Master). Many women are attracted to the knowledge, confidence, and (supposed) power of a guy who can "teach" them to BASE jump. This is not a secret to the boys. Worse, men are tempted to overstate their qualifications as a teacher when they are interested in a woman. What guy will admit to an attractive BASE-curious skydiver that he isn't qualified to teach? He will try to impress her with his "expert" credentials, saying "of course I can take you BASE jumping-just stick with me and you'll go a long way, baby." If his goal is to get laid, he isn't an appropriate teacher. Hang out with him, date him, have fun with him, skydive with him, sleep with him-but learn BASE from someone else.



Erin is making only her second or third BASE jump. Reports indicate an unstable short delay and a wall strike under canopy. Erin was receiving instruction from her boyfriend.



Some women skydivers are drawn into BASE by boyfriends. This may be a result of the boyfriend's desire to have a "BASE girl," or it may simply be because, being exposed to BASE, the woman begins to develop an interest in it. BASE jumping is deeply personal, and there are many reasons to do it. But impressing your boyfriend is not a good one. If he really cares for you, he will let you approach BASE at your own pace, if at all. He may even try to discourage you from BASE jumping (since, as he truly cares for you, he won't want you to get hurt). In any case, BASE jumping for anyone else (boyfriend or otherwise) is a major mistake, and one an intelligent, independent, strong woman need not make.



  • Cliff Strike
X has around 100 BASE jumps. His girlfriend Y has less than 20 BASE jumps. X goes on a BASE vacation, and visits (among others) a moderately advanced, but legal, site. Y jumps. Y smacks the cliff. Y needs to be rescued. Y has surgery, and is on crutches for months.



Some women use their feminine charms to get BASE "instruction." This tactic, which is widely accepted in skydiving, presents a serious danger when transplanted to BASE. In skydiving, if you pick a mentor more for his charms than his skydiving skills, you still have fun, and it's no big deal. In BASE, this can easily hurt or kill you. Further, this technique rarely works on really qualified BASE instructors, because they are well aware of the "girlfriend problem." As a rule, if a guy takes you for a BASE jump because he is interested in you, he is probably not giving good instruction to you, and may not be qualified to give it to anyone.



  • Landing Injury
X is an experienced skydiver with less than 100 BASE jumps. Y is a relatively inexperienced skydiver (around 100 skydives), with no BASE jumps. Y has often used her "girlness" to her advantage skydiving, and decides it will help get her first BASE jump. Y convinces X to take her for her first jump. X takes Y to jump a good beginner object. Y has inadequate canopy control, and pounds in, breaking her leg.



Boyfriends (or guys who are hoping to work up into that position) have a lot of trouble saying "no" to the woman they are involved with (or want to be involved with). When she asks if she can jump a site with him, he is virtually powerless to deny her. He likes to spend time with her, he is flattered that she is interested in his hobby, he wants to please her-of course he will take her. She has to be the one to know this is a bad idea. And as a beginner, she has no way of knowing that. There have been several cases of unqualified women receiving BASE instruction. They didn't know better, and the guys who did know better were more concerned with finding a way to spend time with them than helping them learn safely.



  • BASE Fatality 27
  • Susan Oatly, 1993
  • Cliff Jump
  • XXX, XXX National Park, California, USA
  • Cliff Strike
Susan is the first XXX fatality and XXX’s third overall. She held a head high attitude for too long and backed into the wall in her 8th second of freefall. This jump began the process of insisting people who begin BASE jumping have at least 150 previous parachutes jumps. There is also a side issue involving pretty girls without much experience being handed BASE jumps beyond their abilities. The load organizer is arrested by the Park Service (after staying behind to lead rescue efforts) and charged with manslaughter. The charges are later reduced to aerial delivery.



If you want to BASE jump, remember that your safety should be the primary concern of both yourself and your mentor. Mixing BASE and romance, flirtation, or sexual tension will only impair judgment, and often leads to disaster.



Note: I have removed names of all currently living people from my examples.
02 January 2006

04:33 by Mike Furno?.

While in Moab over Thanksgiving one of my buddies ran into a cute girl at the party thursday evening. Since we had a non jumper with us who could shuttle if nessary at M B. and since we had made 2 jumps on thursday with this girl in are group but not part of our small group she was invited along. While the 5 of us were gearing up to be the first off during pin checking each others rig one of us noticed both of here three rings were assembled with both the small ring and the middle ring through the big ring. She had been jumping this set up for at least 3 jumps the day before that I know of . Now the question I have is who was her mentor how much skydiving experance does she have and why dosn’t she know enough to properly assemble a three ring. After I fixed here three ring’s I strongly recamended she take a riggers course before she repacked her rig. I thought this may go along with your posting, as it does show a women jumper not properly prepared with the basic tecnical know how to safely enjoy base.

10 January 2006

13:02 by anonymous.

Very interesting. But really your comment Mr. Mike Furno, has nothing to do with the jumper being a woman, so it is an irrelevant posting. Your experience with this jumper has to do with her being illprepared, I highly doubt this is due to her femaleness. Think better of yourself Mr. Furno.

17:40 by Jenette Williams?.

Wow, this no doubt is an article of insult. I see the point, even as a female, and yes I am sure all of the above happen, but what a discredit you have just handed the strong women that are successful in this sport. Perhaps your next commentary should be on the lame guys that BASE jump just to be tough like the other boys. Hmmm, I wonder what the stats are on those deaths and injury.

14 January 2006

10:54 by Jeff Steves?.

Hmmm, interesting points….but unecessary. My girlfriend is a BASE jumper, I taught her, and we did so with success both in the jumping world, and personally. Most girls that skydive are probably heads up enough to figure out all of the above. Thanks for your points though Tom, they should be directed to both sexes however….the above are not just a girl thing.

23 January 2006

18:26 by Jessica Snyder?.

While it is true that some PEOPLE are easily and dangerously influenced by others, especially potential mates, it is insulting and ignorant to assume that the majority of women decide to BASE jump because of theri boyfriends. I know many female jumpers who have more jumps, experience, and respect for the sport than some males I’ve encountered. Thanks for your advice but any individual with their own mind and self worth doesn’t need to be told how to think and act for themselves.

18:29 by Bill Wright?.

Just FYI, the dumb chicks that would do all of the above, wouldn’t be doing enough research to read this post……this just offends the smart ones

04 February 2006

08:38 by John?.

wow. what an insulting post. really uncalled for tom, and i generally enjoy your readings. too bad on this one.

26 February 2006

04:01 by anonymous.

I don’t think that he’s speaking of all women, or all cases here… just bringing to light something that people need to consider. If they can figure it out for themselves, great. I don’t think that he is implying that women are any less capable of being safe base jumpers than men. IMHO, if an article like this offends you, then you are too easily offended.

14 March 2006

09:45 by Mike?.

I’m not a base jumper. Just a curious person who is reading this. I can’t figure out what everyone thinks is so insulting about this article. I think the author is doing an important thing here in bringing to light the potential pitfalls of mixing sexual attraction with a potentially deadly sport.
I just wanted to stick up for this author, especially since he was careful not to generalize.
If you read his post again, you might notice he talks about what “some women” and “some men” do, and then he gives specific examples of cases where things have gone wrong. I don’t believe that the author means to imply that all women fall into these pitfalls or that all women are stupid, which is what some readers seem to have gotten out of reading this.
I will have to agree with February 26 anonymous and say that some of you are just too easily offended.

23 April 2006

15:35 by Disgruntled skydiver ?.

As a skydiver with 2500 jumps I find the implications that behavior you disaprove of is Ok in skydiving circles rather insulting and inaccurate. Seriouse consideration of the risks is important and instruction from properly qualifide instructors is essential. Your implications may serve to widen the gap between our chosen sports.


alone? — 30 November 2006, 17:41


This post made it so I had no one to jump with last year.
I made my 4th, 5th, and 6th jump alone.


J_DanielUsaf624? — 26 December 2006, 18:39


In short, I agree-very valid points that most folks often ignore. Sorry, but the general public needs to have thicker skin, this is nothing but constructive and valid acknowledgment of history. It needed to be said, and who better.
Cheers Tom,


Nick Rugai — 04 March 2007, 13:57


Great reading Tom! As the mentor and husband of a hot chick with a Ph.D. I hope she has enough thick skin and brain to survive in this “heavily male pastime” and not have the guys from the DZ looking at her behind, Maggot and Bryan are you listening?
This whole article should be removed.





This page has been seen 12,742 times.

Current Discussion: Main discussion

  1. #1
    I personally see no reason why this article is offensive - unless someone is being overly defensive, and that seems to suggest they are in a situation they know is not ideal.

    I have had experience dating a skydiving CF coach and I can directly relate to this article - my second CF jump he had me in a 4 stack and there was definitely not a suitable amount of ground coaching beforehand. He wanted me to experience something he loved, but he wanted it so much he bypassed many important steps.

    It is not a mistake I would make again. Receiving coaching and mentoring from a partner may work occasionally, but I think there is enough of a conflict of interests there generally to make this article an important one, especially for girls starting out in BASE.

    I don't think this article is sexist, or offensive I think it is one persons honest observation and interpretation. If your experience is different then so be it, write an article yourself and express it.
  2. #2
    Thankyou for writing this article, it has opened my eyes.

    I am a rock climber, and I "taught" my girlfriend to climb so quickly that she refuses to climb with me any-more. It's not just me, my friends take their girlfriends to places that are completely inappropriate for beginners, from the abseil into boulder ruckle, to an unclimbed 6000 meter peak!

    Shadow has it exactly right with

    "He wanted me to experience something he loved, but he wanted it so much he bypassed many important steps."

    I think everyone thinking of teaching their partner to do anything dangerous should read this article.

    Thankyou

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